Author: Anjana Gill
Anjana Gill
Reading time: 20 minutes
Synopsis
Joy in life is not by chance. It’s a choice you make. In 12 Secrets of Life’s Joys (2025), we show you how to fill your daily life with more ease, thanks, and hope. You will learn to focus your energy on happiness.
What’s in it for you: Learn how to bring more ease and joy into your life.
Many people think happiness is just luck. That’s wrong! It’s a skill you can learn. We should practice happiness, just like we move our bodies. Mental health is as important as physical strength. It helps us get through hard times, build good relationships, and find meaning in daily life.
In 12 Secrets of Life’s Joys, we share how you can awaken your inner happiness. You will learn how to keep this feeling alive every day. We have chosen seven of the best and most effective secrets for you. These secrets will bring you more ease, courage, and happiness right now.
Blink 1 – Happy in Hard Times
Every morning, with your coffee, the news floods in. One bad headline follows another. They enter your mind like an unwanted guest. We ask ourselves: “Can we even be happy during such times?” The answer is yes! You can be happy. In fact, you must be happy. Especially now.
Happiness is not a luxury for good days. It’s a skill for survival. Studies show that happy people live longer. They are healthier. They also find better solutions during crises. In a world full of sadness and problems, we need people who spread hope.
But how can we do this without ignoring reality? The first step is to separate global problems from your personal feelings. You cannot change the world situation. But you can control your inner well-being. It means protecting yourself inside, without looking away from what’s happening. Three simple exercises can help.
First: Use the Lotus Effect. The lotus flower lets water and dirt just roll off. Imagine you are this flower. News can touch you, but it should not get inside you. When world events feel too heavy, say out loud: “Stop. I am a lotus flower. Negative things roll off me.” It might sound simple, but it acts like a shield for your soul.
Second: Collect three nice moments every day. At dinner, tell three things that were good today. Maybe a smile, a kind word, or five minutes of quiet. This way, you collect happy moments. What you collect, grows. If you find three nice moments daily, you will become a ‘happy moments millionaire’ over time.
Third: Put negative things into the box. Take your worries. Look at them for a moment. Then, put them into a box in your mind. Close the box and say: “I will deal with this later.” This small trick creates distance. It gives you freedom.
From today, remember: We are lotus flowers. We collect happy moments. We protect our inner self. The world stays the same. But we decide how much it affects us.
Blink 2 – Happy in the Face of Fear
“Fear Eats the Soul.” This famous line from Rainer Werner Fassbinder’s 1974 film is still true today. Fear is like a hungry monster. It swallows everything that is good for us: joy, hope, and ease. Sometimes you don’t even see fear at first. It pretends to be worry, caution, or always being on guard. But what if we could tame this monster?
Fear is not bad deep down. It wants to protect us. The problem is that many people live in a constant state of alarm. War, climate change, illness, uncertainty – every day brings new scary news. This leads to a general feeling of panic. But if you fight, you attract more fighting. Happiness comes from peace and trust. So, the main question is: Do you want to be afraid, or do you want to be happy? You cannot be both at the same time.
If you feel fear growing inside you, the Three-Glass Method can help. Imagine three glasses in front of you: one has Vitamin C, one has joy in life, and one has fear. Which one would you drink? Not the one with fear, right? So, in your daily life, say clearly: “No thanks, I will not drink that.” This small phrase changes your inner attitude. It tells your body: “I alone decide what I let affect me.”
Your breath can also be a powerful tool. Breathe in deeply through your nose and count to three. Hold your breath for a short moment. Then breathe out for twice as long – count to six. As you breathe out, simply let go of fear. Do this several times. You will quickly feel a sense of ease. Ancient Indians said: “Shallow breathing means a shallow life. Deep breathing means a full life.” Did you know that the German word “atmen” (to breathe) comes from Sanskrit? Atman literally means “all that is.” So, with each breath, you connect with life itself.
At the end of your breathing exercise, say: “I am safe and cared for – always and everywhere.” Then, breathe in deeply again: bring in joy, breathe out fear. Happiness can start this simply.
Blink 3 – Happy with New Beliefs
Jana sits at her kitchen table with a coffee. She scrolls through job ads. Suddenly, her heart beats faster: “Marketing Manager in a small sustainable company.” It’s only five minutes from her home. The job offer sounds almost too good to be true. But then a thought comes: “They probably want someone younger. Or someone with more experience.” Frustrated, Jana closes her laptop. She thinks there’s no point in applying.
What happened to Jana is not by chance. A negative belief is at work here. These are invisible thoughts that whisper things to us every day. Things like “I am not good enough,” “I can’t do that,” or “Others are better.” Beliefs often pretend to be logic or reality. But they are old lies. They often come from childhood. We store them deep in our minds. A sentence like “That is not for you” can create an invisible limit. This limit shapes us into adulthood, even if we barely notice it.
The good news is: You can change these beliefs! It happens in three easy steps. First: Spot and Reverse. Find all thoughts that make you feel small. Then, turn them into their opposite. If you hear yourself thinking: “I am too old,” instead say: “I am in the prime of my life!” Second: Say Goodbye. Say out loud, in a firm voice: “Thank you, dear belief, for being there. I don’t need you anymore, you can go.” This way, it loses its power. Third: Punish – just for fun, of course. Every time you catch yourself with a negative thought, put one Euro into a ‘belief box’ (piggy bank). This helps you quickly spot your negative thoughts. Bonus: You can buy yourself something nice with that money later.
Then, new sentences will take their place. Such as: “I am doing great.” “I am exactly right as I am.” “Life is good to me.” These thoughts feed your self-confidence. They create joy in life.
And Jana? She opens her laptop again. She reads the ad one more time. Then she starts typing: “Dear Team…” The first sentence of a new story.
Blink 4 – Happy Against Group Complaints
“Times are hard,” says Harald at breakfast. He sighs and puts the newspaper down. His wife smiles gently. “Maybe,” she says, “but the coffee is hot, and the sun is shining outside.” Two small sentences – two completely different ways of seeing the world.
Harald’s remark is a clear example of a group belief. These are phrases you hear all the time. You start to believe them, like “Money doesn’t make you happy,” “The world is falling apart,” or “Life is not a playground.” These sentences sound harmless and simple. But if we hear them often, we start to believe their message. Then they become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
To spot and change group beliefs, a simple rule helps: As within, so without. It’s not what happens in the world that shapes our thoughts. Instead, what we think decides how we experience the world.
Harald’s sentence, “Times are hard,” stops him from seeing anything easy, beautiful, or possible. It’s like a grey film over reality. So, let’s turn it around: “These times are full of chances.” This small change in how you see things clearly changes your energy. It creates space for curiosity, new ideas, and courage.
If you like, you can also try the Cloud Exercise. Close your eyes. Imagine you are a cloud floating above the Earth. Below you, you see yourself, your life, your surroundings. From above, everything looks smaller, calmer, and clearer. Maybe you see things that hold you back, like old beliefs, fears, or doubts. Now, imagine you take scissors. You cut all the threads that hold you down. Watch yourself suddenly fly even higher without that weight. Feel the lightness, the clear view, the freedom.
The fact is: We cannot change the world situation. But we can change how we see it. Perhaps Harald will say at breakfast one day: “These times are exciting.” That would be a very good start.
Blink 5 – Happy in the Right Environment
You open your front door. You step inside. You immediately feel that something is not right. No drama or noise, but the air feels heavy. Maybe it’s the overflowing laundry basket, the dim light, or just the general mood. Our home is like a mirror. It shows more about us than we think.
A careful walk around your home can do wonders here. Look around your rooms. But most importantly: feel what is there. What is the feeling in your bedroom? What energy does your living room have? What memories are attached to certain objects? Maybe you feel sad about something, but you don’t know why. Often, we keep things that no longer bring us joy. With them, we hold onto emotions that take our energy. Your physical surroundings directly affect your mind. A room can give you strength or make you weak. It can heal you or hold you back.
Not only our surroundings but also the people in them shape our energy. Your emotional environment – family, friends, colleagues – affects your mood. It’s as important as your home decor, or even more so. Some talks are like a warm blanket. Others are like a cold shower. Think about how you feel after meeting someone. Do you feel lighter, clearer, inspired? Or do you feel tired, empty, and annoyed? If the second happens often, you might have met an ‘energy vampire’. This is someone who takes your energy instead of giving it.
Happy people know the difference between those who lift them up and those who slow them down. This is not being selfish. It is protecting yourself. Of course, we don’t leave friends who are going through hard times. But some people always stay negative. We are allowed to let them go without feeling guilty.
Your physical and emotional environments are two sides of the same coin. The more aware you are of both, the clearer you will feel what truly helps you. Rooms full of light, people full of kindness. This is not a luxury. It is life energy. Happy people don’t just live somewhere. They live in an atmosphere that suits them. And they know: The most important address is always your own heart.
Blink 6 – Happy Without the ‘If-Then’ Trap
“If I just find someone who loves me, then I will be happy.” Tom has thought this for years. But every date ends the same way: He smiles nervously. He talks too much. He gives off the opposite feeling of ease. It’s no surprise. If you always put off happiness until later, you rarely seem happy now. And the other person can feel this.
The If-Then Trap is a common way we delay living. “If I get promoted, then I’ll be satisfied.” “If I lose weight, then I’ll go to the swimming pool.” “If I have more money, then I’ll treat myself to something.” This way, we chase happiness. But we don’t realize it’s always one step ahead. Life actually works the other way around. Happiness does not follow success, love, or money. Instead, success, love, and money follow happiness.
Happy people attract happiness. If you go through life feeling content, you seem attractive, creative, and open. It’s not by chance that new opportunities, interesting meetings, and even relationships appear. They show up once you stop waiting inside yourself. Happiness is like a magnet. But it only works if you turn the magnet on.
You can practice this easily. Write down three of your ‘if-then’ sentences. For example: “If I had more time, then…” “If I wasn’t so tired in the evening, then…” “If I finally found my dream partner, then…” Now, flip the order. Instead of “If I am loved, I am happy,” it becomes “If I am happy, I will be loved.” Instead of “If I have money, I am free,” it becomes “If I feel free, money will come.” This is more than just playing with words. It’s rewiring your mind.
Tell yourself every morning and evening: “I am a lucky child.” Not because everything is perfect. But because you choose to see the good. Tom also tried this. On his next date, he did not say: “I hope this works out.” Instead, he said: “I am already happy, the rest is a bonus.” And indeed: The conversation was easier. His smile was real. Suddenly, Tom realized that the happiness he was looking for was sitting right across from him.
Blink 7 – Happy Despite Anger, Disappointment, and Hurt
Buddha once told a story. A man angrily insulted him, but Buddha stayed calm. His students asked how he could stay so peaceful. Buddha replied: “If someone gives you a horse, and you don’t accept it, whose is it then?” “The other person’s!” cried the students. “Exactly,” Buddha answered. “It’s the same with insults.”
Simple and brilliant: Anger, disappointment, and hurt are gifts we don’t have to accept. If we keep them inside, we make them part of ourselves. We think about them again and again. We replay scenes in our minds. We feel hurt. By doing this, we give away our power over our own happiness.
Of course, this does not mean swallowing everything or ignoring unfairness. But we can choose if we act or react. Someone who only reacts loses control. Someone who acts stays in their power. In such moments, tell yourself: “I decide what I accept and what stays with you.”
A small freeing ceremony can also help. Write your disappointment on a piece of paper. It could be an argument, a hurtful sentence, or a broken friendship. Read the sentence aloud one more time. Then burn the paper. Or tie it to a balloon and let it fly away. As you do this, say: “Goodbye, old disappointments. I am free.” Watching the balloon get smaller or the paper turn to ash often feels like your first free breath. It’s a breath after a long time of inner stress.
And if you catch yourself feeling angry again: Imagine a Teflon pan. Words, accusations, unkindness – everything just slides off. Nothing sticks. Nothing burns in. We no longer accept every bucket of bad feelings that is offered to us.
Happy people know this: They don’t have to forgive everything. But they can let go. Letting go doesn’t mean it never hurt. It means that the pain no longer controls you. Suddenly, there is space for ease, empathy, and for yourself.
In the end, happiness is often not a big fireworks show. It’s a quiet feeling of peace and trust. Trust in life and in yourself. And that is the real art of being happy.
Conclusion
Don’t put off your joy in life until better times. Let it begin now! Happiness is not a goal. It’s a path you choose again every day.
Sometimes, this means letting negative things roll off you, like a lotus flower. Sometimes, it means telling fear: “Thank you, I don’t need you.” And sometimes, it’s simply about collecting three nice moments before you go to sleep.
Perfect days? They don’t exist. But there are countless small moments. You can invite happiness into them – right today, right now!
Source: https://www.blinkist.com/https://www.blinkist.com/de/books/die-12-geheimnisse-der-lebensfreude-de