Author: Dave Berke
_Dave Berke_
Reading time: 19 minutes
Summary
The book ‘The Need to Lead’ (2025) explains that leadership is the main answer to all problems. This is true for your job, your family, or your local community. It takes ideas from tough military flying and fighting. It also uses lessons from ground battles. It turns these lessons into simple rules. These rules help you improve yourself, build good relationships with others, and train new leaders.
What will you learn? Learn five main leadership skills that will make you more powerful, make your relationships stronger, and help you get results that last.
What makes good leaders different from people who just have a leadership job? The answer is not about natural skill or many years of work. It is about five basic ideas that anyone can learn and use.
These ideas come from a famous fighter pilot. He spent many years teaching at TOPGUN. He led groups of planes in war zones. He also trained the best military pilots. After thousands of hours flying and many real missions, he found an important truth: the rules for good leadership in fighter planes work everywhere. You are already leading if you manage a project, raise a family, or try to make good changes in your community.
This summary explains how to see your leadership role. It shows how to build two-way relationships. It teaches you how to control your inner thoughts and feelings. It also shows how to take responsibility for results. And how to make a lasting impact, even after you are gone. Leadership is not just for a few special people. It is a skill everyone needs. Everyone can learn it with the right way of thinking.
Blink 1 – Everyone is a leader
Think about your normal workday. You might send an email that changes how a colleague does a task. Or you might say something kind that makes someone’s whole afternoon better. You might also decide how to deal with a difficult problem. This can show others what to do. In each of these times, you are leading, even if you do not know it.
Leadership is not just for people with big offices or important job titles. It is not about managing a team or being at the top of a company. Leadership happens when your actions change something or affect another person. This means if you talk to or work with other people, you are already a leader. The question is not if you lead. The question is how well you lead.
When you understand this, it changes how you deal with problems. If your project is late, it is not just a planning problem. It is a leadership problem. If your team cannot talk well together, it is not just people disagreeing. It is another leadership problem. If your customers are unhappy, it is not only a product problem. It is a leadership problem.
When you see that leadership is at the center of every problem, something strong happens. You stop blaming outside things. Instead, you start looking for ways you can change the situation.
The best part of this idea is that leadership is a skill. It is not something you are born with. No one is born knowing how to deal with difficult people or lead groups through hard times. Like learning an instrument, game, or sport, leadership gets better with practice. It also gets better when you make mistakes, think about them, and change. You can improve your leadership, starting now.
When you accept your role as a leader, you get something very valuable: control. You stop feeling like problems just happen to you. Instead, you see yourself as someone who can change results. Problems change from huge difficulties into chances where your leadership can help.
Here is how to start thinking this way today. Pick one problem you have now. Ask yourself this question: How can my leadership solve this? Do not look for what is wrong with the system. Do not look for who made a mistake. Look for what you can do differently. Think about how you can speak more clearly. Or what example you can show. Take one small step based on that idea. That is leadership happening.
Blink 2 – How leadership works both ways
Leadership works with a simple but strong idea: what you give to others comes back to you. When you truly care about the people around you, they will care about you too. When you listen carefully to someone’s problems, they will be more ready to listen to yours. Treat others with respect, and they will naturally respect you back.
This is not about tricking people or planning your actions. It is about seeing a basic truth of how people act together. People show the same energy and attitude they get from you. If you are suspicious or do not care in your relationships, you will work in a place without trust or interest. But if you lead by being kind and paying attention, you will create a culture where those good qualities grow.
Think about how this works in real life. Imagine you have a short deadline. A team member makes a mistake that delays the project. You can choose how to act. You could criticize them strongly and blame them. Or you could talk about the mistake directly. You could also admit that everyone is under pressure and offer help to fix the problem.
The first way might make people obey quickly, but it creates anger and fear. The second way shows that you take responsibility and are also kind. Your team then learns to handle problems in the same way.
This two-way nature of leadership is seen in five parts that are connected. They build strong relationships. These parts are respect, trust, listening, influence, and care. They are not separate. They build on each other and make each other stronger. When you show care, you build trust. When you really listen, you earn respect. When you have respect and trust, your influence grows naturally. This does not happen just because of your power or job title. It happens because of steady actions over time.
This two-way way of working gives you great power to change your surroundings. You do not need to wait for your company to change its culture. You do not need to wait for your boss to be more helpful. You can start this cycle yourself. Show the actions you want to see. This might feel risky at first. Especially if your current workplace is not very good. But leadership means taking the first step.
Here is another exercise to use this idea: Pick one person you often talk to. Think of one clear way you can give them what you want to get back. If you want more honest ideas from them, start by giving them your careful thoughts about their work. If you want more teamwork, ask how you can help them reach their goals. Be real, be clear – and see what happens.
Blink 3 – The three most important strengths
Now you know that every problem is a leadership problem. You also know that leadership works both ways. So, it is important to know about three inner qualities. These qualities decide how well you handle problems and lead others. They are not showy skills or fancy degrees. They are basic abilities that shape everything you do as a leader: being humble, stepping back, and listening.
Let us start with being humble. Your ego wants to keep you safe. It tells you that your view is right, your decisions are good, and your way is the best. But when your ego controls your choices, you miss important information. You ignore warnings from team members who see problems you do not. You also do not listen to ideas that could make your plans better.
Even worse, you might keep trying things that are not working. This is because admitting a mistake can feel like being weak. Being humble does not mean you lack confidence. It means you know you do not have all the answers. It means learning from others makes you stronger.
Stepping back means you can move away from your strong feelings. This helps you see situations more clearly. If you are full of frustration, anger, or worry, you cannot lead well. Your feelings stop you from thinking clearly and limit your choices.
Stepping back means making a space in your mind between what you feel and what you do. It lets you know your feelings but not be controlled by them. This is very important in tough times when your team looks to you for guidance. If you react quickly and change your mood often, everyone around you will become unsure and protective.
Watch for signs that you need to deal with your feelings. These signs are bad sleep, body tension, staying away from people, or feeling nervous. These signals tell you that something needs your care. If not, it can harm your leadership. Getting help when you see these signs is not a weakness. It is taking good care of yourself.
Listening might seem like the easiest skill. But most people do not understand how important it is. Leaders often feel they must have all the answers. They feel they must make decisions and show their knowledge. This pressure makes them talk more than they listen. But good leadership needs you to do the opposite.
When you truly listen to someone, you get information you would not have otherwise. You build trust because people feel important when their ideas are heard. You earn respect by showing you care about ideas that are not your own. Listening makes your influence stronger. This is because people follow leaders who understand them.
These three strengths work together. Being humble helps you listen. Listening needs you to step back from wanting to be right. Stepping back allows humility, not your ego, to guide what you do.
Here is how to make these strengths better. This week, in every talk, promise to listen twice as much as you speak. Before you answer, take three seconds to step back from your first feeling. When someone questions your idea, ask them more about it instead of defending yourself. See what changes.
Blink 4 – Taking full responsibility
Taking responsibility means you accept the results, even when things seem out of your control. This idea is bigger than it first seems. It is not just about saying you made a mistake. It means that as a leader, you are responsible for the results of everything you can affect.
When a project fails, taking full responsibility means first looking at what you could have done differently. Did you explain what you wanted clearly enough? Did you check if people understood? Did you give enough help or remove problems that were slowing things down? Even if someone else made the big mistake, you should still ask what you missed as a leader that let that mistake happen. Do not take blame that belongs to others. But find where your actions could have changed the result.
This way of thinking changes how you work. Instead of feeling helpless when things go wrong, you see points where your actions are important. Instead of waiting for others to fix problems, you start to fix them yourself. Instead of creating a place where people make excuses, you show others how to take responsibility.
Taking full responsibility also means not being too comfortable in any situation. When things are going well, it is easy to relax and think success will just continue. But leadership needs constant progress. The moment you stop actively getting better, you start to fall behind. Markets change, other companies change, team feelings change. What worked yesterday might not work tomorrow. Leaders who take responsibility stay aware of these changes. They change things early, not just when problems happen.
In this way, you look for change instead of just suffering through it. When you are responsible for the results, you know that changing with new situations gives you an advantage. Staying strictly with old ways just because they are known limits how well you can work. Being ready to accept change – to try new ways, stop doing what does not work, and stay flexible – makes leaders successful instead of just getting by.
To practice taking full responsibility, you also need to stop trying to be perfect. The real world does not have perfect answers or perfect work. Waiting for perfect conditions or asking for no mistakes from yourself and others actually stops progress. Instead, try to be excellent. But also accept that mistakes happen. When they do, deal with them directly. Learn from them, and keep moving forward. This real way of doing things actually gives better results than trying for impossible perfection.
Here is how to practice taking full responsibility yourself. Think of something in your work or life that is not going well. Write down everything outside of you that you might blame. This could be other people, situations, or lack of help. Then put that list away. Ask yourself what you can take responsibility for in this situation. What can you change? Choose one action based on that thought and do it. That is responsibility in action.
Blink 5 – Creating leadership that stays
Leadership is not about you. It is about the people you help. It is about the effect that will continue after you leave. This change in thinking separates leaders who get short-term results from those who build something that lasts.
Putting the team first seems easy. But it goes against some very strong natural feelings. Your career progress is important. Being noticed feels important. Your ideas should be heard. None of this is wrong. But when your personal goals always come before the team’s needs, your leadership is empty. People feel it when leaders work mostly for themselves. This feeling breaks trust faster than almost anything else.
First, think about what putting the team first really looks like. For example, it means making decisions that help everyone, even if they do not directly help you right now. It means celebrating others’ wins without feeling bad or trying to take credit. It also means protecting your team from too much pressure. This can mean taking criticism from above when needed. It means being ready to look bad if that helps the goal. This is not about suffering for others and creating anger. It is about knowing that your job is to help others succeed.
The best way to show team-focused leadership is to train the next group of leaders. How well you lead is not just about what you do while you are there. It is about whether the team can do well after you leave. If your leaving causes problems because only you knew how things worked, you have not led well. If people struggle because they rely completely on your decisions, you have not prepared them.
Building future leaders means actively making chances for others to lead. It means giving them important jobs to do, not just tasks you do not want to do. It means helping people through problems instead of fixing everything yourself. It means accepting that others might deal with problems in a different way than you. It means trusting them to find their own way. It means truly caring about their growth, even if that growth eventually takes them away from your team.
This way of leading needs confidence and feeling safe. Leaders who keep knowledge to themselves or control things tightly often do it because they fear they will not be needed. But the opposite is true. Leaders who help other leaders grow become more valuable, not less. They create more ability, which increases their impact. They build strength that keeps success going. They leave a legacy that goes far beyond what they did themselves.
Here is your final exercise: Find someone on your team or in your area who shows they could be a leader. This week, give them one important chance to lead something. This could be a project, a meeting, or a decision. Give them the background and support, then step back. Let them feel both the challenge and the growth. That is how leadership grows.
Final summary
In this summary of The Need to Lead by Dave Berke, you have learned that leadership is not just for people with titles or power. It is something everyone does every day through their actions and influence. Every problem you face is really a leadership problem. This means better leadership is the answer to every problem. Your three most important inner strengths are: being humble to learn from others; being able to step back to stay calm under pressure; and truly listening to build trust and respect. Taking full responsibility for everything means accepting results in your area of influence. It means not being too comfortable. It means seeing change as a good thing, not a danger. Your true measure as a leader is not what you do yourself. It is whether you train the next group of leaders who will do well long after you are gone.
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Source: https://www.blinkist.com/https://www.blinkist.com/en/books/the-need-to-lead-en