Author: Joseph Nguyen
_Joseph Nguyen_
Reading time: 20 minutes
Synopsis
The Overthinker’s Guide to Making Decisions (2025) looks at why many people get stuck when they think too much or are unsure. It shows that overthinking often comes from deeper fears. These fears are about control, being sure, and making mistakes. The book explains how to move from confused thoughts to clear thinking. This helps you make daily and big life choices with more trust in yourself. You will feel more confident and calm.
What’s in it for me? Stop getting stuck in decisions and start trusting your choices.
You know that feeling when a decision stays in your head for days, or even weeks? You open ten tabs, ask three friends, write good and bad points, and still don’t feel ready to choose. Maybe it’s a big move or a new job. Maybe it’s just replying to a message. But it’s always the same: the more you think, the harder it feels. You’re not lazy or broken. You’re just tired of being afraid of making a mistake.
Most advice tells you to think better, make better lists, or find more facts. But deep down, you’ve probably noticed that more thinking does not always make things clearer. You really want to feel calm and sure when you choose. This is true even when you don’t know what will happen.
In this summary, you’ll learn why thinking too much about decisions makes you so tired. You’ll see how fear and wanting to be in control stop you. You’ll also learn how to decide in a kinder way, trusting yourself more. This will help you live the life you want.
Let’s start by finding out the hidden stress that not deciding and endless inner talks are already causing you.
Blink 1 – Thinking too much about decisions takes more from you than almost any “wrong” choice would.
Most of us don’t notice how hard daily choices have become. From deciding how to reply to a message to thinking about changing careers, your mind can go through many ideas. It looks for the choice that promises safety, success, and that others will like. A simple choice can quietly grow into something that seems to threaten your future, who you are, or your friendships. This leads to stress in your body, fast thoughts, and feeling stuck. Meanwhile, life goes on.
It’s easy to not see the true cost of always hesitating. Time passes while you keep looking at the same good and bad points. Good chances are missed because you wait to feel completely sure. Things that could help you grow, like projects, friendships, and experiences, never start. This is because thinking too much keeps you from acting. Staying unsure becomes a choice itself. This choice often hurts more than just trying, learning, and changing as you go.
It’s important to know that this way of thinking is not a personal fault. Overthinking is usually your mind’s way of trying to keep you safe. It wants to protect you from feeling bad, being judged, or from emotional pain. Your mind thinks that if it just thinks a bit more, it will find a path with no risks. But in truth, always wanting to be absolutely sure makes life feel small and worried. Now, think about two or three recent decisions you worried a lot about. What were you afraid would happen if you chose “wrong”? How did it feel to stay stuck and not choose?
When you see how much stress overthinking adds to your days, the next question is: what is truly causing it? Let’s find out in the next part.
Blink 2 – Thinking too much comes from fear and wanting to be in control
Once you start paying attention, you see that not deciding is almost never because you don’t care. You get stuck because the choice feels important. It feels like it says something about who you are, how safe you will be, and if others will accept you. Below all this are common fears: failing, being sorry for your choice, disappointing people, or feeling like you are not good enough.
Your mind tries to think its way to safety. It imagines different situations and practices what to say. This is to find a way to avoid pain and shame. It promises that if you think enough, you can be sure of the result. But actually, the more you try to be certain, the more stressed and held back you feel. This is because no amount of thinking can remove all risks. See overthinking as your mind trying to protect you, not as a fault. This is the first step to becoming less controlled by it.
Fear also changes what you see. When you focus on what could go wrong, you look for danger. You look for reasons you are not ready, and reasons to wait. The feelings you have when you decide become stronger. So, choices made from worry keep that worry going. But this same habit can help you. Focus more on what you want to make and how you want to feel. Don’t focus on what you are trying to avoid.
You can try this with a real decision you are thinking about. Say what fear is hiding under it. What are you afraid it would mean about you if things went wrong? Then write down how you want to feel in this part of your life. Ask yourself what you would choose if you trusted yourself to deal with anything that happened next. Moving from protecting against the worst to aiming for a good feeling helps you define a “good” decision differently. We will look at this in the next part.
Blink 3 – Good decisions are more about fitting who you are than being ‘right’
A lot of stress about choices comes from looking for a perfect “right” answer that does not exist. You think about every side, remember old mistakes, and worry that one wrong step will spoil everything. The change in thinking is simple: there are no perfect choices. There are only options that fit who you are becoming, or options that take you away from that. A “good” decision helps you feel peace, fit yourself, and grow over time. This is true even if it feels a little risky right now.
This type of choice is called an actualized decision. It does not come from fear, stress, or wanting others to approve. Instead, it comes from trusting yourself, being in the moment, and truly loving your life. It makes you feel that no matter what happens, you did not give up on yourself to get there. Often, the choice that fits you best is the one that pushes you past old limits. It also brings a deeper calm, even if you feel a bit nervous.
To use this more easily, try the SAGE framework. It’s like an inner guide for making decisions. First is serenity (calmness): Which choice gives you the deepest peace over time? Not just a quick break from worry. Next is alignment (fitting in): Which choice fits the person you want to become? Then there is growth: Which path makes you bigger, not smaller? And last, emotion: Which direction comes more from love and hope, rather than from fear and lack? Use these questions to feel which choice matches the life you want to build.
In fact, why not try it right now? Think about one decision you are stuck on. Silently go through those four questions. Notice which choice always feels more peaceful, more “like you,” helps you grow in a good way, and feels more connected to love than to fear. That small practice shows you that you already know what a decision that fits you feels like.
In the next section, you will look closely at how you make choices now. This will help you see when you follow your inner guide and when old habits take you off course.
Blink 4 – To make better decisions, first understand how you make them
It’s time to look closely at yourself. How do you usually react when you need to make a decision? Some people hurry and say yes to everything. Then they feel stuck later. Others wait and search for information until it’s too late to choose. Some feel nothing and wait for others to pick. If you understand your patterns, without blaming yourself, you will have something real to work on.
A simple way to do this is to pay attention to what happens in your body and mind when you have a choice. Do you feel tight, restless, a need to rush, or want to get away by doing other things? Which types of decisions make you overthink the most? Which feelings do you have most often then? Are you acting more from fear and trying to avoid things, or from wanting to grow and learn? These questions show you the feelings you have when you make decisions.
It also helps to notice the people and expectations behind your choices. Whose approval do you want to keep? Whose disappointment feels too hard to handle? How often do you give up your peace so that everyone else will be happy? You might have learned unspoken rules about what a “good” choice should be. For example: never make family angry, always choose safety, never risk failing.
To explore this, think about a recent time you were stuck. Write down what you did, how you felt, and which hidden rules seemed to be in charge. The goal is not to fix anything, just to see it clearly. Once you have that clear view, you are ready to change the person you are when you make decisions. We will look at this next.
Blink 5 – Become a person who trusts their own choices
Now that you know your patterns, the next step is to choose a new role for yourself. Don’t just react to fear, stress, and old rules. Start to see yourself as the one who creates how you decide. Change the question from “What should I pick?” to “Who do I want to be as I choose?” This change in who you see yourself as is the main part of changing yourself.
A big part of this means going back to your own inner truth. Think about times when deciding felt clear and calm. When you didn’t overthink, you just knew. Notice what you heard in those moments: a quiet truth, a pull to grow, a feeling of “this fits.” Then imagine making choices without fear and judgment guiding you. Decide how you want to feel during and after important decisions.
After that, start to let go of old beliefs that make you keep overthinking. Ask yourself about ideas like “I should always pick the safest choice” or “My worth depends on doing it right.” Think about how life might change if you chose to grow more than to get praise. What if you saw outside results as simply coming from your inner growth? Ask yourself how you would choose if no one ever praised or criticized you again. What if time didn’t feel so short?
Then start to build back your self-trust. Notice early signs that you are leaving your truth in a decision. Practice reacting to bad results with openness and kindness, instead of criticizing yourself. Imagine your actualized self. This is your calmest and most true self. Write down the rules and reminders that version of you would use when choosing. As a last step, write down some sentences that start like “From now on, I allow myself to choose…A B C” and “I no longer need to choose while… X Y Z.” This way, you make clear, strong promises about this new way of deciding.
Once you know your inner guide, there is a clear plan you can use whenever you start to overthink. We will talk about that next.
Blink 6 – Five steps to stop overthinking and make a decision
You need a way to help yourself when your mind is racing. You need more than just ideas about what a “better” decision might be. That is what the TRUST plan is for. Each letter in TRUST shows you a specific step. You can use these steps when you are stuck thinking ‘what if’ or ‘what’s the worst that could happen,’ and you can’t think clearly anymore.
The T stands for “Take five deep breaths.” This pause calms your body. It takes your nervous system out of a state of fear. So you won’t make a choice based on panic. The R stands for “Reveal the root decision.” Saying the exact choice in one clear sentence makes everything feel easier to handle.
Next is U, which means “Uncover the fear and its cost.” Ask yourself what you are afraid might happen if you choose “wrong.” What do you think that would mean about you? How has holding onto that fear changed your life already? Once you know this, move to S – “Change from fear to inner knowing.” This is where the SAGE ideas you learned earlier are useful. Which choice leads to lasting peace, fitting yourself, growth, and love? This is true even if it feels a little brave?
The last T means “Take the smallest step you can.” Make the decision smaller. Choose one real step you can take today. You don’t need to change everything at once. Just choose one small step that helps you go in the direction you’ve picked. Then, notice how it feels and what it tells you about your habits.
In the final section, you will see how the idea of small, real steps appears as daily acts of self-trust that you can practice often.
Blink 7 – Small, fun challenges can help you trust your daily decisions again
Big ideas about trusting yourself are useful. But real change happens in small moments when you actually choose in a new way. Here are some fun challenges that gently change how you make choices. Each one is safe and easy. They quietly teach your mind that it is okay to act even without being perfectly sure.
One thing to try is to flip a coin for a real choice you’ve been thinking about. Pause before you look, and notice which result you secretly hope for. The goal is not to let the coin choose for you. It’s to show you what you already want but haven’t been brave enough to admit.
Another thing to try is to order the first meal or drink you truly like. Don’t look at every choice or ask what others are getting. Just feel what it’s like to trust your first feeling.
A third exercise is to answer honestly next time someone asks what you want. Don’t just say “I don’t mind” or “whatever you like.” You can also pick one promise you’ve made to yourself. It can be small, like going for a short walk or closing your laptop at a certain time. See keeping this promise as practice for bigger decisions.
You could try one of these experiments each week. Then, take a few minutes to think about how it felt. What did you notice about your fears? Where did your inner knowing become clearer than you thought it would?
Over time, these small actions become important. You start to see yourself not as someone controlled by overthinking. Instead, you see yourself as someone who can feel fear, listen to their inner voice, and still act. And that is the biggest change: a life led less by worry, and more by growing trust in your own wisdom.
Final summary
The main idea from this summary of The Overthinker’s Guide to Making Decisions by Joseph Nguyen is this: you do not need to be perfectly sure to make good choices. Instead, you need to trust yourself. You need a clearer idea of who you want to be. And you need a few simple habits you can use when your mind starts to race. You can see how fear and old rules affect your choices. You can use ‘fitting in’ (alignment) as your guide. You can try small, brave actions. Doing these things can turn daily decisions into chances to become a calmer, more confident you.
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Source: https://www.blinkist.com/https://www.blinkist.com/en/books/the-overthinkers-guide-to-making-decisions-en