Author: Denis Waitley
Denis Waitley
Reading time: 21 minutes
Synopsis
The Psychology of Winning (2001) reveals the secrets of success. It shows ten key qualities that can help anyone become a true winner.
What’s in it for you: How to Become a Winner.
Many people say that success is not important to them. But truly, they would like to be among the world’s “winners.” The hope for great success often lies deep inside them.
The good news is that success is not just luck. It does not depend on your genes or your surroundings. Anyone can turn a small hope into clear goals. And anyone can work to achieve these goals.
True winners have the right mindset. They also learn certain habits. So, the main question is: How do you do this? The following Blinks will show you how.
Here you will learn:
- what winner habits are and how to get them,
- what mental practice is, and
- why a fortune teller’s prediction can have very bad effects.
Blink 1 – Winners have a positive self-image.
When you were a child, did you dream of becoming a sports star, an astronaut, a race car driver, a ballet dancer, or a famous singer? These childhood dreams are very important. People often become what they imagine for their whole lives.
For example, astronaut and moon traveler Neil Armstrong dreamed of becoming an important person in aviation when he was a small boy. He worked very hard to make this dream real.
But why is this?
Our mind has a big effect on what we do. Success mostly depends on our mindset. The first step to becoming a winner is to imagine the person you want to be. It is best to do this exercise every day.
Most people only use a small part of their mind’s power. This is because they do not have the right mindset. Studies show that many people who think they are unattractive are also seen as unattractive by others. The way we see ourselves and the goals we set have a big impact on what we actually achieve.
Simply put: People who feel like winners become winners. They get everything they expect from life. O.J. Simpson is a good example. He grew up poor. He had a serious illness and had to wear leg braces until he was five. But he still achieved his childhood dream and became a football star. Even though he later made bad choices, his story shows that anyone can become a winner. It shows that success starts in your mind.
Blink 2 – A positive lifestyle and winner habits bring success.
Being a winner also means creating a life that is worth living. If you want to do this, you must get rid of all negative „loser habits.“ You must replace them with winner habits.
Bad habits are found in all parts of life: always criticizing yourself, which holds you back. Smoking, which takes your energy and time. Delaying things, laziness, and fears that stop you from even trying to reach many goals. In short, all kinds of bad habits make the way to success harder.
So, the first step is to see these unhelpful habits. Then, get rid of them one by one. Replace them with positive ones. There are many positive habits. Instead of smoking, you can exercise. Instead of always criticizing yourself, celebrate your successes. Or, just enjoy life and focus on the good parts, wherever possible.
When you develop this positive lifestyle, you help yourself. You also help the people around you.
But first, let’s look at the most important traits and actions that make people winners.
Blink 3 – Winners have high self-worth and take care of it.
One main difference between winners and „loser“ types is self-worth.
Successful people like Benjamin Franklin, Hannah Arendt, or the deaf-blind writer Helen Keller thought highly of themselves. They acted with confidence. Studies showed how these people easily accepted their own unique qualities. They also made others accept them for who they were.
People who like themselves and believe others like them too find friends and support more easily. This is easier than for someone who struggles with self-doubt and low self-worth.
The good news is: You can shape your self-image. Brain scientists have shown that our nervous system cannot tell the difference between a real experience and one we only imagine. So, people can be influenced by labels given to them by chance. In a study with students, those who were randomly told they had „better learning ability” later performed better than their „weaker” classmates.
This also means you can give yourself positive qualities. These qualities will then slowly become real.
The best way to do this is through positive inner thoughts. Winners often give themselves positive feedback. They say things like, „I can do this,” „I’m looking forward to it,” or „I feel good about this.” This helps to build their confidence.
This simple tool builds a positive self-image in our subconscious mind. This then shows up as more confident behavior in many situations. This self-talk works because our subconscious mind wants to reach all the goals we set. It wants to live up to the image we have of ourselves. This is true whether it means success or failure, looking good or bad, being rich or poor.
Blink 4 – Clear goals make winners successful.
Do you know people who seem lost in life? They wander without a plan and change their goals every day. Or people who aim for a top job in a famous company, but they don’t have clear steps to get there.
Winners are different. They are like rockets aimed at a target. They chase that target with great speed and focus. To be successful, you must always know what you are doing and what you want to achieve.
Winners have big, long-term goals in life. They break these down into small, clear steps. This way, their subconscious mind always knows where they are going.
Having goals also makes people stronger. It helps them find meaning in their life. Viktor Frankl, an Austrian brain doctor, gives a very strong example. He survived the Holocaust camps. He saw that other survivors often had a very strong reason to keep fighting for their lives. This might be a family they loved and felt responsible for. Or it was the hope to tell the story of the horrors they saw. This way, they could give a voice to the millions who died.
Sadly, having a clear goal was often not enough to survive the camp. But this example shows what the human mind can do. Luckily, most people, unlike in the Holocaust, can greatly shape their own lives. And in the end, the future we imagine will most likely come true.
A study suggests this. It found that thoughts and words have power over our body and health. There are stories of people who died just because they expected to die. This happened after a fortune teller told them a certain time of death. Their fear was likely the cause of death.
Blink 5 – Winners motivate themselves and see risks as chances.
When most people face a challenge, they struggle with self-doubt. They often think, „What if my boss doesn’t like this project?” or „What if I don’t get this job?” Winners are different. They make sure their mind is always full of positive thoughts.
But why is this so important?
Our motivation depends on the feelings we have. Two key feelings are fear and desire. Winners are pushed by a strong desire. This desire brings them closer to their goals. It comes from the gap between their current situation and where they want to be. This gap creates a positive, inspiring energy. It often leads to top performance.
On the other hand, fear of a bad situation makes that situation more likely to happen. A baseball player who is afraid of missing the ball will probably miss it. His opponent, who wants to throw the best pitch ever, has a good chance of doing it.
You can apply this small example to almost all parts of life. Your worry about the project may cause you to be careless. Then you might not convince your boss. Your fear and uncertainty in a job interview might make people think you are not suitable or not good enough.
Keep a positive attitude, especially when something is risky. Winners see risks as chances. They look forward to possible success. They are not afraid of failing. This way of thinking can also be learned.
For example, the French actor Maurice Chevalier struggled with fear of failure for a long time. He eventually had a breakdown on stage. His doctor told him to stop all fears. After that, he could perform again. He realized that no one could achieve anything if they always waited for the perfect, safe moment. No one would climb mountains, win races, or create new inventions.
Blink 6 – Winners take their destiny into their own hands.
„I’ll just wait and see what happens.” We hear this sentence too often. But it is a „loser” sentence. A winner would never say such a thing. Instead of waiting for fate, they take charge of it themselves. They do not work on something just because someone told them to. They do not work on it just because it is the usual way. Instead, they feel responsible for the projects they work on.
Winners strongly believe that everyone creates their own luck. They believe they can shape the world as they wish. Voltaire once used a card game to explain this. At the start, everyone gets a hand of cards, some good, some not so good. We must accept these cards. But then, it is up to each person how they play their cards to win.
The self-control that winners show makes them more successful. It also makes them healthier, both in mind and body.
Scientists who study biofeedback therapy and meditation have confirmed something. People who train their mind and self-discipline also gain more control over body functions. For example, they can control their brain wave frequency, pulse, and how much pain they feel. This is good for physical health.
Feeling in control of yourself and your surroundings is also good for your mind. People who feel forced to do things lose this control. They also lose responsibility and their personal values. This can lead to unwanted behaviors and mental problems.
Life offers almost endless possibilities to each of us. We ourselves have the power to make something of it. So, we should not just „wait and see” anymore. We must not let things just happen. Instead, we must make sure that something we want happens. We do this by proudly saying, „I choose to take this step.”
Blink 7 – Winners know their weaknesses and adapt easily because of their empathy.
People say, „Nobody is perfect.” This is true for winners too. Everyone has their flaws and weaknesses. But many people lie to themselves. They pretend to be good at things they know nothing about. Winners, however, are honest with themselves. They have a real idea of their skills. They can judge well what they can achieve and what they cannot.
To be a winner, for example, you need to give some tasks to others. These are tasks you are not good at. This way, you can use your strengths even more. Let’s say you have many creative ideas for your company’s marketing. But writing texts is difficult for you. Writing a whole campaign yourself would take too much extra time. Give the writing task to someone who can do it quickly. Then you will have time for your next successful move.
It is about knowing yourself. But it is also about understanding others. Winners have empathy. They understand how people around them feel. This makes them open to new views. For example, a mother takes her five-year-old son Christmas shopping. At first, she does not understand why he is crying all the time and holding onto her leg. Only when she kneels to tie her shoelace does she see the Christmas crowd from her son’s view. Then she understands how scary it must be for him. Ideally, she goes home with the boy. She plans not to assume how others experience situations based on her own view in the future.
Empathy also helps winners to adapt quickly to changing situations. This then allows them to stay calm even in big chaos. They can make smart decisions. Other people might be thrown off by sudden problems. But an adaptable winner quickly changes their plans to fit the new facts.
Blink 8 – Winners practice self-discipline and stick to their winning strategies.
All good intentions and knowledge about winner habits are useless if we lack the necessary self-discipline. People who always look for quick ways to succeed and want everything to be as easy as possible never get there. Winners do not use „success hacks.” Instead, they work hard and with discipline.
But how do you get more self-discipline? One way is to talk to yourself in the right way. This helps to set the right thoughts and feelings in your subconscious mind. It also helps to change your self-image.
This works, for example, for people who have lost a limb. In the first weeks after the amputation, they „feel” pain in the missing arm or leg. But with self-discipline and self-talk, they manage to get used to the situation. They learn to accept their new self-image.
And how do you manage to keep going with long and hard work? Mental practice helps here. This is a technique often used in professional sports. Good athletes often practice in their minds what they will do. They go through the whole action, from start to finish, before they actually do it. The Frenchman Jean-Claude Killy won the giant slalom first in his head. Then he won it in real life. He imagined himself racing down the slope with his legs correctly closed. His weight was balanced well. He had the perfect speed. He felt so in control that he could only win.
Astronauts are also good at this technique. They train for the up and down movement of weightlessness in rubber boats in the sea. They practice walking on the moon in desert sand. Neil Armstrong said after his moon landing, „It was beautiful. Exactly like in our practice sessions.”
Mental practice is a good tool for everyone. Even beginners can use it. It helps them deal with their fears. It also helps build endurance and self-discipline.
Blink 9 – Winners are successful in all areas and live in the present.
In the last Blinks, we saw that winners are not just people with a lot of money and a fancy sports car. It is about much more than just material wealth. Winners see themselves as part of a bigger picture, as part of the universe.
What does this mean?
First, these people are not just successful in one part of their life. They are successful in all areas: at home, at work, and in society. Others value and respect them. They spend time with their family and friends. These are just as important to them as their career.
Second, winners do not only focus on themselves. They often help other people around them to become winners too. In their work, they create „win-win” situations. They succeed without others losing. People who do not succeed often act selfishly. They think they need to grab a big piece of the pie before others get it. But in truth, there is no pie that will run out. Success actually grows, it does not get smaller, when we share it.
Also, winners enjoy every moment of their life. They see all the time they have as valuable. They live in the present, not in the past. They learn from their mistakes without feeling sad. They like to remember happy moments. They have goals for their future. But this does not stop them from enjoying the moment now.
So, the last tip for you to become a winner is to enjoy every single moment you have. And help others around you to win with you.
Summary
The main message of this book is:
Success is not by chance. With the right attitude, a positive self-image, and good habits, anyone can become a winner. Winners are liked by others. They help others to become winners too.
What you can do:
Find your goal.
If you want to achieve something, find the right goal to work towards. Write it down. Make it a habit to actively think about it every morning and evening. Imagine what the world will be like when you reach your goal. See it clearly with words and pictures. Think about how you will feel.
Be a good listener.
When you talk to others, ask questions. Listen to their stories. Ask for their opinions. This will make you a welcome guest. And you will become a little bit more of a winner.
Reflect.
Take 30 minutes every day to be alone. Relax. Meditate. Understand that your life is yours. Actively imagine that you are doing something that makes you happy. Or imagine something that brings you closer to your big goal.
Do you like what you are reading?
It is important to us that you enjoy these Blinks and learn a lot. Did we succeed? Please write to us at [email protected].
For further reading: Tools of Titans by Tim Ferriss
In Tools of Titans, Tim Ferriss describes what he learned from the successful, famous, and very different guests on his podcast, The Tim Ferriss Show. He explains their tricks and methods. These help them to become as healthy, rich, and creative as possible.
Source: https://www.blinkist.com/https://www.blinkist.com/de/books/nur-wer-handelt-kann-gewinnen-de